Half-life of Ancient Element Finally Established
Scientists at CERN in Geneva, Switzerland have determined the half-life of the element Politician (Po). Using the Large Hadron Collider, they performed a number of experiments in which photons were fired at various isotopes of this element. Thus, by shedding light on its decay, a number of measurements could be made showing a half-life of 3 years and 4 months on average.
According to Professor Korsakoff, affiliated with the Faculty of Political Sciences at the University of Amsterdam, this result is surprisingly low given the way in which the element is able to manifest itself in society. He notes that in some cases a half-life of only a few days has been measured.
Dr. Bonaparte, one of the lead authors of the paper recently published in the journal Human Nature, has stated that more study is needed to explain this paradox. He does, however, have some clues as to where to look for the explanation:
"Previous studies have already shown that the element Po exhibits a highly unusual form of entanglement with the elements Status (Ss) and Money ($€) that are located very close to it in the periodic table"
Either way, the short half-life provides a good explanation for why the element loses all its value so quickly once applied. This despite the great promises that the element seems to offer time and again.
On several occasions, researchers have expressed concern about the degree of toxicity that the decay of Po can bring. Bonaparte says:
"While not immediately visible, the radioactivity that the element spreads during its existence can have an extremely destructive effect on the lives of ordinary citizens."